Single and ready to jiggle

Whether it's being asked by your well-meaning relatives and colleagues, or random people at a wedding where you're drinking your weight in shots, the question, "Why are you still single?" is a loaded one.

Depending on your frame of mind - or how insecure or intoxicated you are - you'll either grit your teeth and smile politely, or let rip with a range of colourful responses, like; "it's because I'm unlovable, "I'm too busy doing shots"... and the list goes on and on...

Being SINGLE is nothing to be ashamed of. I'd bet that 99 percent of people out there would tell me that some of their happiest moments were during their single days. In a perfect world, single hommies wouldn't have to explain why they're single, just like coupled-up people don't have to justify being in a relationship.

People who knows me will always gives me the crooked eye brows face when i told them that I'm single and not seeing anyone. Just because I look averagely nice doesn't mean I'm coupled like you people.Just believe it. I don't settle for anything less than what i deserve. It takes time to separate the best out from the rest...

 

The next time when you happened to ask me, "Why are you still single", I'm just gonna answer you, "Why are you still breathing?"

 

 

 

He's your guy, not your CHILD!

“Hold my shopping bag for me. Can’t you see they’re heavy?” “Are you deaf? Why don’t you answer my when I talk to you?” “Why are you so stupid? Can’t you do anything properly for once?”

 

Sounds familiar? Yea… This is specially dedicated to the ladies out there.

It’s pretty common in Singapore to hear women chiding their boyfriend/husband that way. These women verbally abuse their other halves, speaking impatiently and rudely to them over the smallest matters.

Some months ago, I was at the MRT station when I saw a woman scolding her boyfriend for forgetting to buy movie tickets. She ranted loudly, taking no notice of the stares from other people around them. He, on the other hand, kept his head low and apologized profusely, desperately for her to stop her PDA (public display of anger). More recently, a friend of mine threw a fit when her boyfriend couldn’t remembered if she preferred a latte or cappuccino during of our gathering. “Can’t even get a simple thing right.” She rolled her eyes, and gave him a cold shoulder for the rest of the afternoon….

With all respects, come on ladies, what were you even thinking? Why would you want to behave that way?? This is what I call it “dragon-lady” to suit the flame-thrower behavior. You’re stuck up with the unrealistic expectations that you believe that you are entitled to rant over small matters. We guys do understands that you lady suffers from the hormonal imbalance (monthly) that causes mood swing. There’s more to name it to begin, oh well… whatever…. stress, poor communication skills, age gap between the couples and etc…

 I don’t know how would you respond to this but I’m thinking (sometimes), a woman reacts that way is because she is stressed and feels that she lacks of supports from her other halves. In some cases, if the man is a few years younger or behave in a less mature way, women may unconsciously take on the role of a mother rather than an equal perspective.

Cases like above, often, boyfriend/husband keep quiet because they want to avoid further conflict, not because they are fear of you ladies. Men’s chooses to keep quiet because he values the relationship more than his ego…we want peace at all costs. But then again, some keep quiet because they know they will not able to suppress their women’s outbursts.  But if men like above do not share their feelings openly, they, too, may feel resentment, anger or bitterness towards their women over time, which leads to THE END of the story…Sigh.

Why not learn to state matter-of-factly to each other? Couples should learn to express their unmet needs and be aware of their limitations. Bonding from friend to couple and then marriage is actually some kind partnership-ing~~~Holding on to the unresolved past issues and pass disappointment not going to do you good. Try injecting some humor on your communication and intimacy (ok, this idea can’t be wrong for sure). You two might start to realize that life isn’t just about you, it’s about YOU AND YOUR OTHER HALVES.

 

Ok, now stay peace and life happily a’ight! 

 

You both DESERVE to be better than this. 

 

 

If only YOU could see through my eyes...

Saying hello to my homie out there who clicked into this blog and kindly reading this... If you would question me what have had happen to me for the past few months for being absent and missing in action, I will kindly feed you about it as you read along it. 

I’ve been struggling with myself when I was admitted into hospital…. While you are wondering why couldn’t you allocate me is because things in life happen to strike you down for some reason. There are too many questions to sort it out at once, so let me just fast forward this. Just when you thought you stumbled upon a gem stone who you think you can wake up next to and then... It’s too good to be true (sometimes)… That ain’t happening unfortunately. Just like the old adage, it is true that when you care too much, you will only end up hurting yourself to the core. Couldn’t agree more…

 But listen up, there is no people to be blamed. Every person revolves around you is going to hurt you at some point of time… But it’s up to you to decide what is important … The PAIN… OR… THE REASON?  The PAIN brought me to medical attention, but I have better a REASON to get out from the “sleep mode” after re-gaining my consciousness. 

Here I am, in a familiar place feeling something I've felt before, wondering why it's still here, why didn't I deal with it more careful before. But I'm glad I have a second chance at it ... and I know there will be no third chance. I also know that if it comes up again, I'll recognize it and deal with it more readily. This is just another lesson to be learn.

You only live once. You gotta learn to accept and forgive and stop dwelling with the past. I might take detours that divert me from the original route. I might stumble along the way. But I know, I will always find my feet and I will always find my way forward.

I am living now, and I know I am not alone in this.

I have once shattered someone’s heart, and I know how it feels to be in that position now. I am so sorry for what I’ve done in the past and I know nothing can be done to revert back the time. What I’ve learn is to have unwavering faith in yourself, for good and bad in life. Believing that every experience you gained is uniquely empowering. 

Believe me, if I were given a chance to re-do this whole chapter, I will not let this happen again.

Cheers to the homie,  I am alive and breathing...