He's your guy, not your CHILD!

“Hold my shopping bag for me. Can’t you see they’re heavy?” “Are you deaf? Why don’t you answer my when I talk to you?” “Why are you so stupid? Can’t you do anything properly for once?”

 

Sounds familiar? Yea… This is specially dedicated to the ladies out there.

It’s pretty common in Singapore to hear women chiding their boyfriend/husband that way. These women verbally abuse their other halves, speaking impatiently and rudely to them over the smallest matters.

Some months ago, I was at the MRT station when I saw a woman scolding her boyfriend for forgetting to buy movie tickets. She ranted loudly, taking no notice of the stares from other people around them. He, on the other hand, kept his head low and apologized profusely, desperately for her to stop her PDA (public display of anger). More recently, a friend of mine threw a fit when her boyfriend couldn’t remembered if she preferred a latte or cappuccino during of our gathering. “Can’t even get a simple thing right.” She rolled her eyes, and gave him a cold shoulder for the rest of the afternoon….

With all respects, come on ladies, what were you even thinking? Why would you want to behave that way?? This is what I call it “dragon-lady” to suit the flame-thrower behavior. You’re stuck up with the unrealistic expectations that you believe that you are entitled to rant over small matters. We guys do understands that you lady suffers from the hormonal imbalance (monthly) that causes mood swing. There’s more to name it to begin, oh well… whatever…. stress, poor communication skills, age gap between the couples and etc…

 I don’t know how would you respond to this but I’m thinking (sometimes), a woman reacts that way is because she is stressed and feels that she lacks of supports from her other halves. In some cases, if the man is a few years younger or behave in a less mature way, women may unconsciously take on the role of a mother rather than an equal perspective.

Cases like above, often, boyfriend/husband keep quiet because they want to avoid further conflict, not because they are fear of you ladies. Men’s chooses to keep quiet because he values the relationship more than his ego…we want peace at all costs. But then again, some keep quiet because they know they will not able to suppress their women’s outbursts.  But if men like above do not share their feelings openly, they, too, may feel resentment, anger or bitterness towards their women over time, which leads to THE END of the story…Sigh.

Why not learn to state matter-of-factly to each other? Couples should learn to express their unmet needs and be aware of their limitations. Bonding from friend to couple and then marriage is actually some kind partnership-ing~~~Holding on to the unresolved past issues and pass disappointment not going to do you good. Try injecting some humor on your communication and intimacy (ok, this idea can’t be wrong for sure). You two might start to realize that life isn’t just about you, it’s about YOU AND YOUR OTHER HALVES.

 

Ok, now stay peace and life happily a’ight! 

 

You both DESERVE to be better than this.