The 8 People You Should Never Have Sleep With

1. Someone else’s significant other.

You would think this goes without saying, but it’s surprising just how many people can’t seem to get this when in the heat of the moment and presented with a sexy little piece who just happens to be attached. The desire can be overwhelming, and you can even manage to convince yourself that their current SO isn’t good for them or isn’t what they really need but SPOILER ALERT: That isn’t your choice to make. If they are really unhappy in their relationship, it’s up to them to do the decent thing and get themselves out of it before they go frolicking through the genitalia forest with impunity. Nothing good comes from being the Other Person, and it makes you kind of a terrible person (no matter how good the sex is.)

2. Your roommate.

Do not, I repeat, do not, bone the roommate. I have witnessed more than a generous handful of otherwise-copacetic living situations devolve into a cess pool of awkward half-feelings, demi-jealousy, and discreet handjobs. There is just no way to make a dignified exit when you’re stuck living with this person through, at the very lease, the end of your lease. It’s like trying to slam a revolving door — you just can’t make things as clean and final as you want them to, and you end up looking ridiculous in the process. The two possible outcomes of a roommate meets are: you end up happily ever after, and the exchanging of co-habitating fluids never presents a problem, or one of you has to move out. There is no alternative. None.

3. The ex it’s never going to work with.

Stop doing this. Yes, it’s easy. Yes, it’s convenient. Yes, you guys know what the other one likes. Yes, there is a spicy bit of complicated feelings to make the whole thing feel passionate and fresh, when really it’s just two exes having sex in the back of a Civic parked out by the movie theater. But these are not valid reasons to keep stretching out the already-awful “let’s stop hurting each other process” and making the blurry lines between the two of you even more… moist. Best to just leave them in the past where they belong, at least until you can think of more constructive things to do as “friends” than unlawful fornication.

4. Someone who isn’t that into you.

Man, doesn’t it feel great when you’re with someone, and you can tell that they consider the act of sleeping with you to be a huge favor to you? You know, when you’re really, really into them and all they seem to be is vaguely bothered by your desire for their affection in return? It’s just awesome when you can feel them trying to disengage themselves from the bed the second the actual sex is over, lest you interpret their post-coital spooning for an indication of deeper feelings. It’s maybe the best feeling ever, honestly.

5. Someone you’re not that into.

Yeah, never do this to anyone else. It’s the worst.

6. The person you’re trying to break up with.

If there is something more oppressive to the human spirit than the act of sleeping with someone who you have not yet found the courage to break up with, I don’t want to be aware of it. It’s just like, how much more cruel can you be? How much more empty or deceptive of a physical act could there be? It’s basically the emotional equivalent of having sex with a corpse, only more damaging and awful. I’m shuddering just thinking about it, honestly. Let’s all collectively vow never to go there again, for the betterment of humanity.

7. Your boss.

This is a bad idea. You know it’s a bad idea, and you still kind of want to do it anyway when the opportunity presents itself because, come on, that shit is like some terrible erotic novel. You’re ready to get yourself into some 50 Shades shit and start knocking boots over on the Xerox in accounts receivable. But it’s just a bad idea, and nothing good will come of it. Come on, you know that.

8. Your friend’s ex.

There is a code in life. I don’t adhere to all of the individual rules personally, but I know there are certain ones that should not be transgressed — and sleeping with the ex of a friend is amongst the crimes that deserve the social version of the death penalty. If the friend is not 100 percent over the ex, if you have not spoken with your friend about this openly and obtained his or her approval beforehand, and if you don’t handle everything with the utmost respect, you are basically a real-life Disney villain. And even then, tread with caution.

Cool Shades (but we are indoors)

I get it. You want attention. But just because Miyavi wears shades indoors at award shows and PSY has taught everyone from Britney to UN secretary general Ban Ki-Moon how to 'Gangnam style' it up while wearing designer sunglasses, doesn't make it all right for you to wear sun cheaters indoors or at night. Definitely not indoors and at night. Not even remotely at night.

Musicians have this unspoken creative license to wear whatever they want, whenever they want. They are artistes after all, and by definition, a few raisins short of a fruit loaf. So unless you have the boisterous swag of Freddie Mercury (self test : can you pull off a chequered unitard and look like a legend?) or are in fact a direct progeny of Elvis, don't even think about wearing mirrored aviators indoors. 

Sunglasses, lest we forget were created to protect our eyes from harmful ultraviolet radiation and interestingly, were also prescribed to people with syphilis in the early 20th century because of their sensitivity to light. In both cases, protection from sun, during the day (just in case you missed my point). However, after years of being worn by musicians and celebrities alike to hide their identity or conceal blood-shot eyes, sunglasses have become COOL.

This is different from looking 'hot'. Cool is aloof, detached, closely associated with a breezy attitude and accompanied with loads of SWAGGER. Hot, on the other hand, is sexually-charged, visual and sets pulses racing: but like fireworks, it's explosiveness is usually fleeting. Shades in themselves can look hot, but are increasingly worn to make the wearer appear cool in a devil-may-care sort of way. (laugh)

And by the way, not all sunglasses are created equal, in case you haven't noticed. Protective qualities aside, the type of shades you should wear says alot about your personal style. But even the best pair worn without attitude would be worse than wearing none at all.

Only a handful of men in the world can get away with wearing shades after dark, and chances are, you're not one of them. Worst justification I've heard from a man donning shades at night? 'My future's so bright I have to wear shades'. You've got to be kidding me man. (laugh out loud)

Gotta admit it, I look good with sun cheater despite indoor or outdoor~ Hahaha..

Super Passionate Session? Anyone?

That's right homie. You are curious. You clicked in here. You are reading. You are anticipating.... And you are still reading?! Oh my god.... you must be dead serious! (laughs)

Alright, let's cut to the chase... this is my first time to talk about some HAWT stuff for boys and girl, for men and women, for ladies and gentlemen. It's about S*X... not SIX ok! Alright, you feel me, you got it, so keep reading.

Sexy passionate sex! It's what we all hope for(atleast) : for that richer, connected rhythm that makes you smile every time you think about it - but stops. . . . . . . .  and i mean FULL STOPS. Your bed session just die off after couple of years.(maybe) So, how does this happened? Why you lose the loving feeling?

There are few reason that you man not be having as much passionate session as you deserve. The first? The rise of mainstream porn. It's becoming the model of what people think sex is supposed to be.Well of course, if porn depicted loving couples having egalitarian sex in which both parties are equally concerned with pleasing the other. But, well, it's doesn't.The majority of porn depicts women as being more concerned with pleasing the men than pleasing themselves.(for goodness sake) Women become convinced that they should emulate porn stars(well,not everyone i suppose), so they try to do all these wild, man-pleasing moves rather than paying attention to their own satisfaction and taking time to find out what they like. Indeed that a little pretzel play now and then can be fun, but most women don't really get off on the acrobatics. Having wild monkey sex essentially turns the act into theater, which hinders your chance to truly connect.

Porn isn't the only reason couples these days aren't super passionate on bed - self satisfaction can also be a factor. Couples get so comfortable that they take their sex life for granted and stop putting in the effort to romance each other. They ended up having going-through-the-motion sex, and finally, some women  are simply afraid to ask their partner for more romantic intimacy.

Wild sex is great, but feeling connected on a deep emotional level is even better. It feels more real, and when I care about a girl, I want to treat her affectionately to show her that I'm serious about her. So, that guys-only-want-porny-sex falsehood? Officially busted.

Another reason you should add some more emotional sex to your bedroom rotation, its the a..... biological urge i call it. People crave for attention and passion, and that's when you pretend you don't, you are actually shutting down a large part of yourself. Devaluing romantic session allow you to justify being in a relationship with someone who's not loving towards you and that's never right to begin with.

So, how do you do it without feeling lame? Cracked my history and presented here for you homie.

Having romantic session doesn't entails scattering rose petals all over your sheets before you do it,(although, but hey, if that works for you, go all out). Rather, truly sensual sexy-time happens mutually, as results of feeling connected to each other - focus on your bond outside the bedroom first. A little simple things can do a wonder : have breakfast together, call or text each other on your lunch time just to say hi, and send a message(optional) "I can't wait to see you tonight" in the afternoon. Building up your connection throughout the days makes you feel closer when you are in the bed later. Reminding each other of how good you are together will make both of you crave for more closeness. Then once you're in the bedroom, focus on each other....(I guess i don't have to be specific with the later details) You may start with some slow tease by removing each others clothes, not just your own. I feel that it's a HWAT way to get in the moment - feeling of the fabric slides down your skin heightens your sense of anticipation. Kiss like you mean it, again, this might sound duh, but the truth is, smooching is often the first thing to go when couples get into sexual rut.(Laughs)

Inspired yet?

Friendship, Limited. . . ?

Facebook limited profile feature is handy when want to hide embarrassing personal information from specific group, but can you take it too far?

A friend of mine, (ok, let’s just call it M) has five limited profiles on Facebook. Look…it’s Five! If you’re unfamiliar with the concept of Facebook’s limited profiles, you either live your life an open book (how very Gen-Y of you) or have successfully resisted the temptation of the ubiquitous social network – for now…

To put it plainly, limited profiles on Facebook allow you to control what you want to share with your network of “friends. For example, many of us have no desire to reveal photos of our drunken Friday nights to our clients or bosses, so we set up a limited profile that only gives them access to photo album that show us at work events or pure family holidays.

It follows the theory of the bear pooping in the woods – if they don’t see it, it doesn’t exist.

But when I found out about M’s limited profiles, my jaw unhinged, because it revealed a whole new level off meticulousness when it comes to curating one’s online images. Like the proverbial onion, she has distinctly differentiated the many layers of herself, which she presents to various groups of people in her life: colleagues, family, friends and acquaintances. I think she even has one for ex-boyfriends… (Gosh…think about it)

“How do you choose what to share with one group as opposed to another?” I asked her. She quickly rattled off a string complicated criteria, but essentially it’s a reflection of how she separates her social layer in real life. For example, she doesn’t like her colleague prying into her private affairs, so she doesn’t give them access to photo albums that feature past or present boyfriends.

I on the other hand, don’t have any limited profiles. My policy is simple – if I want to share something on Facebook, I share it with everyone. Personally, it makes life a whole lot easier. Then again, I am hardly the most active user of Facebook, because its purpose for me has dramatically changed. When once it contained to close friend, over the years of my “friends” list has grown to include primary schoolmates that we don’t’ speak much and work acquaintances who don’t really need to know that my day off comprise of sitting in front my computer all day or  hitting the outdoor  for some fresh air. Instead, I share those things on private chats or on WhatsApp with my other core friend.

But I have to admit that I have a certain respect for M’s fastidiousness, because to curate your online image so carefully takes a heck of a lot of dedication. It’s not dishonest or calculating, just the barefaced reality that we all have different facets that we reveal selectively. It’s hardly surprising that the practice has extended to our online lives where we spend time interacting with many of our loved one and not-quite-so-loved ones. For the latter, a limited profile is a lot less brutal than getting “unfriended”, but that’s another story.

 

 

 

Single and ready to jiggle

Whether it's being asked by your well-meaning relatives and colleagues, or random people at a wedding where you're drinking your weight in shots, the question, "Why are you still single?" is a loaded one.

Depending on your frame of mind - or how insecure or intoxicated you are - you'll either grit your teeth and smile politely, or let rip with a range of colourful responses, like; "it's because I'm unlovable, "I'm too busy doing shots"... and the list goes on and on...

Being SINGLE is nothing to be ashamed of. I'd bet that 99 percent of people out there would tell me that some of their happiest moments were during their single days. In a perfect world, single hommies wouldn't have to explain why they're single, just like coupled-up people don't have to justify being in a relationship.

People who knows me will always gives me the crooked eye brows face when i told them that I'm single and not seeing anyone. Just because I look averagely nice doesn't mean I'm coupled like you people.Just believe it. I don't settle for anything less than what i deserve. It takes time to separate the best out from the rest...

 

The next time when you happened to ask me, "Why are you still single", I'm just gonna answer you, "Why are you still breathing?"

 

 

 

He's your guy, not your CHILD!

“Hold my shopping bag for me. Can’t you see they’re heavy?” “Are you deaf? Why don’t you answer my when I talk to you?” “Why are you so stupid? Can’t you do anything properly for once?”

 

Sounds familiar? Yea… This is specially dedicated to the ladies out there.

It’s pretty common in Singapore to hear women chiding their boyfriend/husband that way. These women verbally abuse their other halves, speaking impatiently and rudely to them over the smallest matters.

Some months ago, I was at the MRT station when I saw a woman scolding her boyfriend for forgetting to buy movie tickets. She ranted loudly, taking no notice of the stares from other people around them. He, on the other hand, kept his head low and apologized profusely, desperately for her to stop her PDA (public display of anger). More recently, a friend of mine threw a fit when her boyfriend couldn’t remembered if she preferred a latte or cappuccino during of our gathering. “Can’t even get a simple thing right.” She rolled her eyes, and gave him a cold shoulder for the rest of the afternoon….

With all respects, come on ladies, what were you even thinking? Why would you want to behave that way?? This is what I call it “dragon-lady” to suit the flame-thrower behavior. You’re stuck up with the unrealistic expectations that you believe that you are entitled to rant over small matters. We guys do understands that you lady suffers from the hormonal imbalance (monthly) that causes mood swing. There’s more to name it to begin, oh well… whatever…. stress, poor communication skills, age gap between the couples and etc…

 I don’t know how would you respond to this but I’m thinking (sometimes), a woman reacts that way is because she is stressed and feels that she lacks of supports from her other halves. In some cases, if the man is a few years younger or behave in a less mature way, women may unconsciously take on the role of a mother rather than an equal perspective.

Cases like above, often, boyfriend/husband keep quiet because they want to avoid further conflict, not because they are fear of you ladies. Men’s chooses to keep quiet because he values the relationship more than his ego…we want peace at all costs. But then again, some keep quiet because they know they will not able to suppress their women’s outbursts.  But if men like above do not share their feelings openly, they, too, may feel resentment, anger or bitterness towards their women over time, which leads to THE END of the story…Sigh.

Why not learn to state matter-of-factly to each other? Couples should learn to express their unmet needs and be aware of their limitations. Bonding from friend to couple and then marriage is actually some kind partnership-ing~~~Holding on to the unresolved past issues and pass disappointment not going to do you good. Try injecting some humor on your communication and intimacy (ok, this idea can’t be wrong for sure). You two might start to realize that life isn’t just about you, it’s about YOU AND YOUR OTHER HALVES.

 

Ok, now stay peace and life happily a’ight! 

 

You both DESERVE to be better than this. 

 

 

If only YOU could see through my eyes...

Saying hello to my homie out there who clicked into this blog and kindly reading this... If you would question me what have had happen to me for the past few months for being absent and missing in action, I will kindly feed you about it as you read along it. 

I’ve been struggling with myself when I was admitted into hospital…. While you are wondering why couldn’t you allocate me is because things in life happen to strike you down for some reason. There are too many questions to sort it out at once, so let me just fast forward this. Just when you thought you stumbled upon a gem stone who you think you can wake up next to and then... It’s too good to be true (sometimes)… That ain’t happening unfortunately. Just like the old adage, it is true that when you care too much, you will only end up hurting yourself to the core. Couldn’t agree more…

 But listen up, there is no people to be blamed. Every person revolves around you is going to hurt you at some point of time… But it’s up to you to decide what is important … The PAIN… OR… THE REASON?  The PAIN brought me to medical attention, but I have better a REASON to get out from the “sleep mode” after re-gaining my consciousness. 

Here I am, in a familiar place feeling something I've felt before, wondering why it's still here, why didn't I deal with it more careful before. But I'm glad I have a second chance at it ... and I know there will be no third chance. I also know that if it comes up again, I'll recognize it and deal with it more readily. This is just another lesson to be learn.

You only live once. You gotta learn to accept and forgive and stop dwelling with the past. I might take detours that divert me from the original route. I might stumble along the way. But I know, I will always find my feet and I will always find my way forward.

I am living now, and I know I am not alone in this.

I have once shattered someone’s heart, and I know how it feels to be in that position now. I am so sorry for what I’ve done in the past and I know nothing can be done to revert back the time. What I’ve learn is to have unwavering faith in yourself, for good and bad in life. Believing that every experience you gained is uniquely empowering. 

Believe me, if I were given a chance to re-do this whole chapter, I will not let this happen again.

Cheers to the homie,  I am alive and breathing...